The greatest gift you can give another is to help them to help themselves. No one else can do it for us. When we realize deeply that the only person holding us back in our lives is ourself, that the only person that can make the changes we need to have a wonderful life, is ourselves, then we start to move towards healing our own life.
It’s a very empowering feeling to experience that you have your answers and your solutions. It’s difficult to repeat old negative patterns when you finally accept that although you may have had little power in what happened to you that hurt you, you do have the power now in how you deal with it and move forward in your life. This ensures that you won’t allow yourself to fall into that trap again. It’s taking personal responsibility for your life and it’s a journey.
We don’t just wake up one morning with a different mindset. It is a process. And if we’re fortunate, we’ll meet someone along the way who did it for themselves too. They won’t run in to fix it for you. They’ll stand beside you where you’re at encouraging you every step of the way. They’ll walk at your pace without advising you and telling you what to do. They realize that although you may feel incredibly vulnerable, that you are incredibly strong, and they won’t disempower you further by being the expert on your life.
We might even get mad that they won’t do it for us. But they’ve been there themselves. They know the only person who could change their life was themselves, and they remember how empowered they felt when they made those changes for themselves. They’d rather you be upset with them than be upset with yourself that you felt you couldn’t do it.
Empowering another to empower themselves is a deeply respectful and honourable action. It allows the other to take full credit for the changes they made that brought their life to a better place. You did nothing because you can’t. You’re not that important. You have no power over another’s life or actions. You have no right to determine what another should do with their suffering. And if you think you have, then you need to consider your agenda in helping them in the first place.
People are not flawed, they are disempowered. Empowered people empower people. They understand that to truly help another they stand with them and move with at their pace. They accept that they’re going through a process of finding their strength again. If they fix it for them, we’re interfering in their process, and although it may be well-meaning the person hurt is disempowered all over again. When you’ve gone through the process of taking ur power back, you’ll never be the same again.
You’ll look at how you allowed suffering in your life to continue, and you’ll make changes that will empower you to see the strength of your soul. Then you can truly help another to help themselves. Don’t view someone as a victim. They have been hurt, we all have, but viewing another as a victim is saying that they’re weak and you’re strong. That they’re not able to sort their life out, but you are. And you’ll do it for them and then they’ll need to thank you. You’ve just become part of their hurt all over again. Empower others to empower themselves. And then stand back and congratulate them on their courage to heal. They did it, not you.
You’re not that powerful. Saving ourself is hard enough to do. We cannot save another. We can just empower them to heal their own life. It makes us what we are, equal human beings. Be gentle, kind, supportive, stand by another at all costs, never give up on another, but only they can heal their life. And when they do, they can take the full credit for their strength. Empowered people empower people. Wishing you all lots of love…